Do you find yourself longing for more? Do you feel happy or do you feel like you are running out of time, not living the midlife you want or spending time doing the things you want to do? Honestly, I feel all of those things and I am sure you do to.
At midlife, society has us believing that life is over and that we are supposed to slow down and wind down our lives. Who is this “society”? I sure would like to meet them and tell them exactly how wrong they are!
LET’S DEFINE HAPPY
My Search for the best bra for a backless dress and all those times I need a strapless bra!
Midlife ladies, if you are like me the no bra option is no longer an option for reasons we are all individually well aware. Which is why I went on the search for the best bra for a strapless dress and for a strapless option I don't hate!
Younger ladies – I say it all the time and will say it again – midlife is coming for you too. You may laugh now but hopefully those of us telling our tales and storing them on our blogs for all to see will help you in the future! It’s not a bad thing – just something you will deal with when the time comes!
Tips for Wedding Dress Boutique Shopping from a Mother of the Bride
My daughter’s dream was to purchase her wedding dress at a boutique dress shop. Most of her friends have used David’s Bridal. David’s Bridal offers great service and selection, however, after being in 6 weddings in the last few years and spending lots of time at David’s, she just wanted something different.
Here is what we learned as we walked out her dream dress shopping day.
I wish I drank, if I did I would totally be lushed out right now. For the past few weeks, my life has been all kinds of shaken and stirred with plenty of lemons and lime squirts, but no yummy olives.
For starters, it’s no picnic to get a menstrual period after 8 months of not having one and worse, to get one that is so painful it makes up for lost time and lasts for almost a full week. Enduring the excruciating pain of my nether region revolt coupled with full-body aches and pains from taking on a house cleaning gig didn’t make for a great time. I doubled down on self-pity and self-loathing and went into full-on defeat mode – I crashed, hard.
For the first time in a long while, I contemplated checking out and not just running from family, friends and social media, which I did, I’m talking about the ultimate check out. I didn’t know how to make myself get up another day to face my failed life. I couldn’t find the inner strength to keep fighting the good fight and I felt so utterly alone.
At my age, almost 48, you would think most of my friends are already in place right? I mean I have been around a while. I've lived through school years, college life, young married life, young mommy-hood, served as a volunteer for dance studios and softball teams, been an active member in churches and ministries through the years, moved on to older married life and mom life only with teens and adults now – you get it, I have met people, lots of them. I do have friends, lots of them, and I love them dearly.
So why the need to make new friends?
If you follow my Instagram story you may remember my recent struggle with time management. If not, no worries, I will explain.
As midlife mode intensifies my “normals” are changing. I found myself completely frustrated and feeling like I was spinning my wheels every week and basically accomplishing nothing!
What do I do when I feel like this?
I turn to my bullet journal and start making lists and taking notes. After writing down all of my to do’s for each day of the week and crunching numbers to figure out how much time I had to actually do them I realized I was trying to fit over 90 hours of to do’s into about 50ish available hours a week.
Problem identified. Now what?
Bujo? What is that?
BUJO is short for Bullet Journal and if you are a list person this is the answer to all of your listing woes. Woes being where did I put that list? Did I remember to bring my list? I started that list a long time ago, where is it now?
I discovered bullet journaling about almost two years ago and now cannot live, actually I cannot function without my bullet journal. It keeps me sane, keeps me organized even on my most disorganized of days, it helps me be a better mom, friend, daughter, and wife….yes you read that correctly. For my peri-menopausal brain this is a life line for time management, life balance, remembering important things.
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Midlife Muddled, how I navigate being a woman in midlife.
author: Heidi Suydam
*updated 04/27/2020* Since I originally wrote this blog post in 2018 I have been through many more times just like the one I described here. I hope this speaks to you whenever you read this.
Currently, in April 2020 the entire world is experiencing the Covid-19 Pandemic, most people are under a "stay at home" quarantine order, businesses are shut down, theme parks closed,
My friend is amazing, she comes up with the absolute best ideas and I often volunteer to help because her ideas are so amazing!
She is an extrovert, I am an introvert who also craves community….just not too much community, and not too often.
This summer her fabulous idea was “Summer Supper & Swim Club” (she comes up with the clever names too). I jumped right in and we established this weekly gathering of moms and kids.
Why would I jump right in – being an introvert and all?
Relationships have always been hard for me and I never really knew why. Recently I gained some insight that is giving me courage and peace as I head into my today, and my tomorrow...
The insight is this: if I do not value myself how can I expect others to value me? I have put too much responsibility on others to make me "feel" valued and wanted. No, I am not entering the self-absorbed, narcissitc bandwagon shouting "Me! Me! Me! My way or the highway people!" I truly believe this new value I have found in myself is actually making me a better friend, wife, mother, daughter, neighbor, community member - overall a better person.
Let me explain.