UA-80199331-1
​We are a family of 5 - myself, my husband and our three girls. About a year and a half ago my oldest daughter moved 12 hours away to start a life at the age of 18 almost 19. With no interest in college she went to pursue an opportunity that ended up not working out. She is resilient and full of determination and decided to stay and pursue other things but in the same area (did I mention this is 12 hours away from home?).
​At first, as a mom, I felt rejected and confused. Why didn't she come home? ​
Now, as I see her thriving in new directions, financially independent, starting a career in retail and enjoying life all while maintaining close family ties through phone calls, text messages, social media and visits I realize - we did our job. We raised a loving, kind, responsible person.
Now, on to "Christmas with 4"...
Due to her retail career my daughter won't be home for Christmas this year. This is the first time ever in all her 20 years we have not been together at Christmas and I am sad. I will get over it, I will get used to it, I realize there will come a time when all three of my girls will have lives and families of their own. This is just my first time without all three of my girls home for Christmas, another step in this process of "time marching on" and having to let go.
It was bound to happen. As parents we raise our children to leave. Let's face it that is part of the job. When we are changing diapers, dealing with toddler tempers, cleaning up messes, driving back and forth to activities, living "everyday life" with our children, it's all leading to one thing. One day they will leave and hopefully they have learned to be kind, independent, responsible members of society. In our house we add to that list. We hope our children will be independent, kind, responsible and always want to share a part of their lives with us and each other. Our girl is living out all of this. We are so proud of her and thankful for the young woman she chooses to be and is still becoming. So with a deep ache in my heart yet still joy to have "Christmas with 4" I say Merry Christmas to all of you who read this. May your Christmas be filled with love and peace no matter with whom or how many you are with on this holiday. If you are alone I pray you have peace and comfort and love in your heart.
I originally wrote this post in December 2016, it still pulls on my heartstrings today and believe it will forever. As a midlife mom, with two more girls growing closer to leaving the nest all these midlife mom feelings flood my soul often.
Be encouraged moms and know, as we are strong enough to let our children go and grow, as we support, encourage and give them wings. They will return home for sweet times of rest and connection. Then they will fly again. This is life. This is a sweet, good part of life.
We love sharing! Please share this post!
8 Comments
12/9/2019 02:01:10 pm
Hi Heidi! I might be calling you next Christmas for some moral support. We are moving from LA to FL in January..leaving our 22 and 24 year old here in LA. Not as far as 12 hours..but still feels like opposite side of the planet. It's tough thinking about letting go..but I guess that is the goal to raise them to do that!! Thinking of you this Christmas
Reply
12/9/2019 02:59:25 pm
Reply
12/9/2019 03:58:13 pm
So true! Change does often mean growth. Especially in this situation - letting our kids grow and go!
Reply
12/9/2019 03:37:18 pm
Boy I can certainly relate to the feeling of rejection. My youngest at 24 "disappeared" for 4 months. At first I felt scared that something was wrong. Then I felt rejected because I wondered if I wasn't enough. But you are right. We raised them to be independent. This is probably the first Christmas in a long time that I'll have my entire clan with me. Joyful times anticipated as I have a new daughter in law and my youngest son has a new roommate. Thanks for sharing. Best,
Reply
12/9/2019 03:38:43 pm
Hello Heidi,
Reply
All the mom feels right !?! So proud but with that deep heart ache! We made a big move a year ago and are having to create new traditions. Made us realize home is really where we are all together, not a certain place.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
![]() Do you want to start a blog? Or need help with your blog?
Work with Heidi, Founder of #thesosblog |