Well it’s been a while – a very long while – since I have posted anything. It's been a long time since I have written anything, at all. A muddled midlife is what I have determined to be my current issue.
Muddled, muddied, stuck.
Finally I am throwing myself back into life after seemingly endless cycles (well almost a year) of trying, stopping, trying, stopping, basically giving up and now trying again. Energy level low, self-esteem lower.
Keeping on a good enough front for the family through my muddled mess was hard, and I wasn’t always successful. Putting on a front is also exhausting and defeating.
Here I am, back at it. Not just writing but back at life. Trying, once again. How? Well several things. Sheer willpower being one of them. I got tired of the cycle but during the cycle I was tired of it and couldn’t seem to break it. What changed? Well let’s revisit midlife…
Midlife for a woman my age means menopause, or actually the dreaded peri-menopause.
Menopause itself is the end of a woman’s menstrual cycles and is actually “diagnosed” after 12 consecutive months of no menstrual cycle. Peri-Menopause make up the years leading up to menopause.
“Dreaded” is an understatement.
Just a few symptoms of peri-menopause are
This can go on for years – many, many years. Sometimes 8 years! I am definitely in my 5th or 6th year already at age 46.
So I blame peri-menopause for my muddled middle. Middle of life, middle of my body, middle of the night wide awake….you get it.
I have never been one to give up so thankfully when I felt like I had given in to giving up something inside me kept nudging me towards a better end. Better end? How about a better beginning?
A new beginning for writing, for parenthood, for a new season in marriage. A new beginning to friendships, and a new season as a daughter caring for my aging mother.
New beginnings for beauty habits – boy are there different beauty routines needed for this time of life. I struggle to even bring them up in so public a forum. Embarrassing. But I cannot be the only one! We need each other right?
Just like there are not enough warnings and resources to prepare moms for parenting adult children (a topic for another time...) I don’t think there are enough warnings about this often embarrassing but much needed grooming advice!
I see women all time in their late 40’s, 50’s even 60’s who look A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! Some better than they did in their younger years. It looks like they have found the fountain of youth! Well I am discovering, no, they didn’t. They HAVE to have grooming secrets and I am on a quest to discover them. I am building up my confidence to share my findings with all of you…
So this is my welcome back to life and “welcome to my new beginning” post.
My moods are up and down, my sleep is often interrupted, I can rarely tell what temperature it actually is because my body’s thermostat is going rouge but I am here and ready to BEGIN again.
I am acctually excited now about my middle, my midlife, my life.
Thanks for joining me – again.
image credit: Kat Smith via Pexels
Hi! i'm Heidi,
Founder and Author of the SOS Blog. Simply Our Society exists for poetry lovers, book lovers, parents, midlife women and those recovering from eating disorders and hidden abuse. My hope is the SOSblog will become a resource to make life a little better and easier (with a special emphasis on this crazy season called midlife!).