Author: Heidi Suydam
My top 2 bright sides of quarantine 2020, finding a silver lining during these stay at home days. It has not been easy but there really are some positive things to focus on.On a Sunday night in March we started to hear things about a possible government shutdown. It seemed unreal but for some reason it also felt like a real possibility. The very next day we received word that our daughter’s April 10th wedding venue cancelled. That week became a blur of dreamlike (or more like what the heck is going on…) existence combined with some of the most beautiful memories and moments we will treasure forever. We quickly packed up, rented a beautiful AirBNB in Franklin, TN and held an absolutely perfectly imperfect wedding for our daughter and our new son-in-law. All the details fell into place.
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I wish I drank, if I did I would totally be lushed out right now. For the past few weeks, my life has been all kinds of shaken and stirred with plenty of lemons and lime squirts, but no yummy olives.
For starters, it’s no picnic to get a menstrual period after 8 months of not having one and worse, to get one that is so painful it makes up for lost time and lasts for almost a full week. Enduring the excruciating pain of my nether region revolt coupled with full-body aches and pains from taking on a house cleaning gig didn’t make for a great time. I doubled down on self-pity and self-loathing and went into full-on defeat mode – I crashed, hard. For the first time in a long while, I contemplated checking out and not just running from family, friends and social media, which I did, I’m talking about the ultimate check out. I didn’t know how to make myself get up another day to face my failed life. I couldn’t find the inner strength to keep fighting the good fight and I felt so utterly alone.
If you follow my Instagram story you may remember my recent struggle with time management. If not, no worries, I will explain.
As midlife mode intensifies my “normals” are changing. I found myself completely frustrated and feeling like I was spinning my wheels every week and basically accomplishing nothing! What do I do when I feel like this? I turn to my bullet journal and start making lists and taking notes. After writing down all of my to do’s for each day of the week and crunching numbers to figure out how much time I had to actually do them I realized I was trying to fit over 90 hours of to do’s into about 50ish available hours a week. Problem identified. Now what? Bujo? What is that?
BUJO is short for Bullet Journal and if you are a list person this is the answer to all of your listing woes. Woes being where did I put that list? Did I remember to bring my list? I started that list a long time ago, where is it now? I discovered bullet journaling about almost two years ago and now cannot live, actually I cannot function without my bullet journal. It keeps me sane, keeps me organized even on my most disorganized of days, it helps me be a better mom, friend, daughter, and wife….yes you read that correctly. For my peri-menopausal brain this is a life line for time management, life balance, remembering important things.
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Midlife Muddled, how I navigate being a woman in midlife.
author: Heidi Suydam
*updated 04/27/2020* Since I originally wrote this blog post in 2018 I have been through many more times just like the one I described here. I hope this speaks to you whenever you read this.
Currently, in April 2020 the entire world is experiencing the Covid-19 Pandemic, most people are under a "stay at home" quarantine order, businesses are shut down, theme parks closed, |
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