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Midlife Muddled, how I navigate being a woman in midlife.
author: Heidi Suydam
*updated 04/27/2020* Since I originally wrote this blog post in 2018 I have been through many more times just like the one I described here. I hope this speaks to you whenever you read this.
Currently, in April 2020 the entire world is experiencing the Covid-19 Pandemic, most people are under a "stay at home" quarantine order, businesses are shut down, theme parks closed,
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My friend is amazing, she comes up with the absolute best ideas and I often volunteer to help because her ideas are so amazing!
She is an extrovert, I am an introvert who also craves community….just not too much community, and not too often. This summer her fabulous idea was “Summer Supper & Swim Club” (she comes up with the clever names too). I jumped right in and we established this weekly gathering of moms and kids. Why would I jump right in – being an introvert and all? Relationships have always been hard for me and I never really knew why. Recently I gained some insight that is giving me courage and peace as I head into my today, and my tomorrow...
The insight is this: if I do not value myself how can I expect others to value me? I have put too much responsibility on others to make me "feel" valued and wanted. No, I am not entering the self-absorbed, narcissitc bandwagon shouting "Me! Me! Me! My way or the highway people!" I truly believe this new value I have found in myself is actually making me a better friend, wife, mother, daughter, neighbor, community member - overall a better person. Let me explain.
We've all done this - especially women, and as a midlife woman I will admit there have been seasons in my life where I did a lot of this. I called it "venting" or "processing" even "sharing"...
When you think something is yours and then it’s given to others ….it’s a reminder that nothing is really yours to begin with. Everything is a gift. Time, people, experiences, things, money, relationships, work, vacations, promotions, and positions. Sleeping, waking, walking, talking, bathing, laughing, crying, and watching. Here today, gone tomorrow, no one can take anything for granted. No one is promised tomorrow, no one is promised the next minute, the next week or the next year. When put in perspective we realize it’s not worth jealously, holding on to hurt feelings, manipulating situations.
Let it all go and fall into sync with the rhythm of life that is yours for today, for this moment, with whoever is with you, doing whatever you are doing for this day. |
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